


Those Left Behind

by GordonFrost (Blue_Eyes)



Series: Sad Story Time [1]
Category: ICoS, In the Company of Shadows, In the Company of Shadows - Sonny & Ais
Genre: I'm Sorry, Not Fluff, mention of drugs, much sad, there is no excuse, very cry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-19
Updated: 2013-11-18
Packaged: 2018-01-02 01:26:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1050908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Eyes/pseuds/GordonFrost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The AU in which Hsin is actually dead and Boyd can't do this alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Boyd

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this on tumblr and wrote in the tags and made someone cry: http://24.media.tumblr.com/8905c333461ec3dd46ddce6d5c9d6924/tumblr_mrj25guS9x1sxg2auo1_400.jpg

Boyd tried to get over the loss. Remembered Hsin's final breaths and the impossible echo of a heartbeat gone still. It was Lou all over again, except different.  _Stronger._ Like he no londer lived and had no other reason to fight. Boyd told himself to keep going anyway. Hsin wasn't there to rip him out from under the blankets, or shove him against a wall to remind them both there was a shred of humanity hiding away.

So the blonde rose to his feet, walking heavily against air. He could get dressed and put the kettle on. A hand would open the cupboard with the jasmine tea, only to see the half eaten jar of peanut butter and the box that held one donut.

One last fucking donut Boyd had refused to give him. It all ended up crashing on the other side of the room, including the kettle of mostly boiled water. Pushing his fingers over closed eyes, Boyd breathed once and headed towards the desk, sat down, and brought the pad of paper closer. He smoked the rest of Hsin's cigarettes, needing to keep his taste. His scent. The light of his eyes behind the lit cherry.

Nothing Boyd wrote was good enough until, beneath all the scribbles and cross outs, he wrote one sentence. Boyd decided then that everything was going to be okay. enough sleeping pills and he would never wake up again; drifting into black oblivious overshadowing lean muscles and green eyes contradictory to olive skin.

One sentence: " _We were the death of each other._ "

And Boyd laid himself to rest. 


	2. The Unit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know summary. And I saw this gif oops: http://25.media.tumblr.com/55fe35ea593c0dcab9165d594ecab754/tumblr_mr8wrvvrrb1rlp86po1_500.gif

The Unit held a small funeral, careful to whisper about it away from prying ears. Officer Gerant was the one to find Boyd like that, peacefully sleeping, unaware of the cardiac arrest that had befallen and taken him away. Away from people who now didn’t know a life without him or a life without Agent Vega. Zach was lost; Owen and Jeffrey were more frayed and caffeinated than usual; Emilio showed his face even less around the compound and didn’t even bother to attend Boyd's funeral because he couldn't manage to hold it together for his own son's funeral, but Zach knew and forgave Emilio for it later. But the one breaking down, the one tearing apart at the seams, was Ryan. The odd partners didn’t just keep Carhart’s unit together. They had accepted Ryan—hung out and humored his love of anime—even accidentally fell asleep on his couch a couple times. Boyd had visited him in the hospital and worked slowly to teach him a bit of self defense. The young R&D Agent wouldn’t have the motivation to continue, and during that small funeral, Ryan wore one of Hsin’s threadbare long sleeves, Boyd’s old hoodie, and at some point Kassian slipped his jacket on over the small set of shoulders.

Luke came up but couldn’t even figure out how to say condolences. Nothing would be right for a tragedy like this. So he held out his hand to the boy, saying, “I found this. It was on the ground and thought…I thought maybe you might keep it for something.” 

One last cigarette—graced Hsin’s lips before returning to the box and was held by Boyd’s fingertips before hitting the floor. He couldn’t smoke it of course, but setting it between his lips was enough. Although they weren’t here anymore, it reminded him they were real and validated his existence. And that’s how he found himself standing at Kassian’s side, weeping like a child who had just lost his parents, and vowed to work three times as hard. He would be the glue to keep the unit from falling apart. He and Kassian would be there, not only for the team, but for Hsin and Boyd.


End file.
